What to Say When “Are You Okay?” Doesn’t Feel Like Enough

When someone we care about is having a hard time, it can be surprisingly difficult to know what to say.

Some people are experiencing significant emotional pain. Others are moving through stress, grief, loneliness, relationship changes, burnout, or simply a hard season.

Friends and community can make an enormous difference, but when it’s our turn to support someone, we may worry about saying the wrong thing.

We often start with, “Are you okay?” But that can be a difficult question to answer.

Instead, you might ask:

“Do you want ideas or a listening ear?”

That small shift can make it easier for someone to tell you what they need. From there, you can create more space for them to talk, listen without trying to fix everything, or offer practical support.

I created this free handout for those moments when you want to be there for someone but aren’t quite sure how to approach the conversation.

Ways to Show Up for Someone Who’s Struggling includes questions you can ask, supportive phrases to help someone open up, and practical ideas for staying connected when a friend or loved one is going through a difficult time.

Download the free resource and keep it somewhere you can come back to whenever you’re wondering what to say to someone who is struggling.